Do you worry about what other people will think of your clothes and your body? I do. I think most of us do. It’s kind of a human, sociologically appropriate thing to wonder - where do I fit in here?
If we want to not have to worry about others judging us, we have to stop doing it ourselves. Start noticing when you have these thoughts about others. Maybe you work with someone and have found yourself thinking, wow, she should really touch up her roots. You see someone at the grocery store in pajama bottoms and think to yourself, really - you couldn’t put on real pants? A friend is wearing a top that you deem too tight in her midsection and you think ooh, I can see her belly.
What do any of these things really matter? What if we said, "so what”? Like, here’s a statement of something, and then what? Ok, I can see her tummy and it’s round. That is a statement. I can see her tummy. So what? Does the fact that her tummy is visible mean that she’s not a good person?
Statement: she’s wearing pajama bottoms to the grocery store. So what? Does that mean that she’s a bad mother?
Statement: Her roots are growing in. So what? Does that somehow affect my life?
Of course not and of course not and of course not.
The more you can start to allow imperfections in others, the more grace you’ll give yourself. The next time you look in the mirror and think that there’s something wrong with your knees (a complaint I hear often), maybe you can think “so what?” and go on with your day. The next time you go to Target in your pj’s because you’re sick, maybe the person who sees you will just think to themselves, cool, cool, that person’s wearing pajamas, moving on now.
Just so you know, I’ve been trying to change my habit of thinking this way for years and it still happens unconsciously all the time and I still catch myself. The worry about my own insecurities is so deeply ingrained somewhere in there that it’s going to take a long time to reprogram. All I can do is try.
If this is something you think you’ll be trying as well, please share and tag me on Instagram. It’s something we all need to hear.
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